The New Prostitution
The past several months it’s been quite amazing the numerous stories about various celebrity’s who were “outed” for infidelity in their marriages.
The common thread in the media centers on what jerks these men are. They lied to their wives and even their mistresses, just to get laid. It’s an old story line… in fact somewhat tiresome… but it’s prominent.
Whenever someone’s uses deception to get what they want, there will be pain. Deception is so far away from how we innately are, at the deepest levels of our being, that the result is always painful to everyone involved, but that isn’t what this post is about.
Over the years, the issue of infidelity in marriage has been prominent in our culture. Usually its the man who is unfaithful (but this is NOT the rule) and if he is in a position of power or notoriety… shall we say, “famous” something fascinating occurs. It’s like vultures have come out of the woodwork.
First of all, men sleeping around has ALWAYS been expected and encouraged in human societies. Females, on the other hand were not supposed to do this and if they did, they were often ridiculed, vilified or worse. Women like that are given names like… slut, whore, skank, prostitute and the famous one “easy”… totally demeaning and extremely negative distinctions.
Lately the stories of cheating husbands are all about how bad, wrong, despicable… etc. etc. these men are…… I’m scratching my head. What’s up??! When did we switch it?
Additionally, none of the stories say much about the women who got involved and even pursued these obviously married men, other than their youth, beauty or tattoos. Certainly, there are rumblings about how they’re media hungry, or “gold diggers” but most of the coverage highlights them being sexy & desirable women – and many of them are not necessarily women who have accomplished anything of value. This is possibly because many of them are fairly young, but probably more due to the fact that they haven’t done much, other than bank on their sexuality to get somewhere.
For these women, that tact seems to be working. From what I can deduct they are being handsomely paid for their stories OR… they are blackmailing the famous men to keep their mouths shut. Either way, they are being paid for sexual favors (or more exactly… to talk about them, or not talk about them)…
Looks like, sounds like, feels like – prostitution.
Without getting all smart and opinionated about this, my deepest curiosity is how we expose and follow these stories without considering the impact that all this press has on the women and children affected by their husband’s philandering. It’s hard enough to live with being jilted on an emotional level and deal with dissolving a long term relationship on the practical level, but to manage our children’s experience AND navigate hoards of paparazzi at the same time… WOW!
How is it that just the men involved are “wrong”? Obviously, they are the ones who have broken promises to people they supposedly love and they have the bulk of the responsibility on their shoulders. But what about the women who go after men who are obviously involved or married to someone? What about their behavior? Why are these women getting a second of our attention and why are they being supported in any way?
What happened to female solidarity?
I asked some women how they felt about this subject… here are a few of their responses;
— “Married or unmarried but seriously committed with kids – there is a special place in hell for you. Married, engaged, living together, seriously committed but no kids involved – don’t even think about going there. Don’t be part of another woman’s pain. And don’t be part of something deceptive.”
—”It is a ‘no zone’. I know how it feels to be the ‘odd person out’ & I would never make someone feel as lousy as I felt.”
— “….you just don’t fuck around with another woman’s man. If you’re attracted to a married man take a photo of him or something and kiss that… Generally, someone who leaves one women for another (you), will probably do it again. Clearly he’s got no integrity, even if he says he loves you more than he’s ever loved anyone else. Finally, if you find out after you get involved that he wasn’t truthful about his relationship status, dump him. Let him sort it out with his partner completely BEFORE he gets involved with you…”
For years women have been “fighting” to right the wrongs of society. We are completely aligned, many of us, to the negative impact that too much alcohol, sex or drugs has on our families. We are often at the forefront of resistance to war and environmental abuses. We take care of things… we face our suffering with dignity and consistency instead of buying into the avoidance tactics men can utilize. Why then do we make each other suffer??
Living a life where your spirit is primary doesn’t require anything but integrity and presence. It’s fairly simple. We don’t have to fight anything, but being quiet about abuse is not the answer. Being docile when it comes to a personal assault on your life is not spiritual… it’s just stupid.
When another woman seduces your lover, being upset about what she’s done is reasonable and will definitely give you a ton of energy to transcend a lot of things that hurt… but haven’t we had quite enough of it? Isn’t it time for women to really come together on all levels and unite?